Real men are protectors.

[WOMAN and MAN are in a cabin in a downpour.]

MAN: In all the years we’ve been coming here, I’ve never seen a storm like this.  [Lightning flashes.  WOMAN throws herself into MAN’s arms.  MAN laughs.]  I’m right here.  [MAN pulls out a jewelry box.]  And I always will be.

NARRATOR: The new Love’s Embrace collection from Kay Jewelers.  Now you can surround her with the strength of your love.  [A large silver CGI necklace surrounds MAN and WOMAN.]  Give her diamonds in a design that captures the comfort found in each other’s arms!  One more reason Kay is the number one jewelry store in America.

WOMAN: Don’t let go.  Ever.

[MAN and WOMAN kiss.  JINGLE plays in the background.]

JINGLE: Every kiss begins with Kay!

—Commercial for Kay Jewelers (via Amelie Gillette, “This Thanksgiving, Throw a Lasso of Cheap Silver Around Your Frightened Girlfriend So She Can Never Escape,” Onion A.V. Club, Nov. 25, 2009, available at http://www.avclub.com/articles/this-thanksgiving-throw-a-lasso-of-cheap-silver-ar,35729/).