Real men make tough decisions.
Real men don’t care about the environment.

But to create more of these clean energy jobs, we need more production, more efficiency, more incentives.  And that means building a new generation of safe, clean nuclear power plants in this country.  (Applause.)  It means making tough decisions about opening new offshore areas for oil and gas development. (Applause.)  It means continued investment in advanced biofuels and clean coal technologies.  (Applause.)  And, yes, it means passing a comprehensive energy and climate bill with incentives that will finally make clean energy the profitable kind of energy in America.  (Applause.)

—President Barack Obama, State of the Union 2010 (available at http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/remarks-president-state-union-address); see also Courtney, “Fresh Reactions to State of the Union”, Feministing January 27, 2010 (available at http://www.feministing.com/archives/019811.html) (“[S]omething about his demeanor and language tonight seemed rife with a sort of ‘tough guy’ posturing that I actually found fear-inducing rather than reassuring.”).

Real men don’t care what others think.
Real men make tough decisions.

[I]t looks to me like women in general, and the women whose educations I am responsible for in particular … aren’t just bad at behaving like arrogant self-aggrandizing jerks. They are bad at behaving like self-promoting narcissists, anti-social obsessives, or pompous blowhards, even a little bit, even temporarily, even when it would be in their best interests to do so. Whatever bad things you can say about those behaviors, you can’t say they are underrepresented among people who have changed the world.

Remember David Hampton, the con artist immortalized in “Six Degrees of Separation”, who pretended he was Sydney Poitier’s son? He lied his way into restaurants and clubs, managed to borrow money, and crashed in celebrity guest rooms. He didn’t miss the fact that he was taking a risk, or that he might suffer. He just didn’t care.

It’s tempting to imagine that women could be forceful and self-confident without being arrogant or jerky, but that’s a false hope, because it’s other people who get to decide when they think you’re a jerk, and trying to stay under that threshold means giving those people veto power over your actions. To put yourself forward as someone good enough to do interesting things is, by definition, to expose yourself to all kinds of negative judgments, and as far as I can tell, the fact that other people get to decide what they think of your behavior leaves only two strategies for not suffering from those judgments: not doing anything, or not caring about the reaction.

…

If you walked into my department at NYU, you wouldn’t say “Oh my, look how much more talented the men are than the women.” The level and variety of creative energy in the place is still breathtaking to me, and it’s not divided by gender. However, you would be justified in saying “I bet that the students who get famous five years from now will include more men than women”, because that’s what happens, year after year. My friend talking to the reporter remains the sad exception.

Part of this sorting out of careers is sexism, but part of it is that men are just better at being arrogant, and less concerned about people thinking we’re stupid (often correctly, it should be noted) for trying things we’re not qualified for.

…

It would be good if more women got in the habit of raising their hands and saying “I can do that. Sign me up. My work is awesome,” no matter how many people that behavior upsets.

—Clay Shirky, “A Rant about Women”, Clay Shirky, January 15, 2010 (available at http://www.shirky.com/weblog/2010/01/a-rant-about-women/); see also Kate Harding, “A Rant about Socialization”, Salon Broadsheet, January 19, 2010 available at http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/feature/2010/01/19/shirky_rant/index.html) (“The key phrase … is ‘men and women need to work together to change the culture’ — otherwise, just telling women to put themselves out there more, as Shirky’s done, is asking them to risk serious social and professional penalties to get the same rewards as men.”; Deanna Zandt, “More on Shirky’s women rant: speaking up, ‘natural’ behavior, and storytelling wins”, Deanna Zandt, Tuesday, January 19, 2010 (available at http://www.deannazandt.com/2010/01/19/more-on-shirkys-women-rant-speaking-up-natural-behavior-and-storytelling-wins/) (“There are times that I feel damaged and inauthentic when I’ve been acting like an overconfident jerk, and that’s not how I want to ultimately live my life. I wrote this post from that place, of wanting to change the culture so that different personality traits can be rewarded, so that we can have (as I said) a more holistic, welcoming set of standards.”).

Real men don’t care what others think.
Real men don’t ask; they tell.
Real men impose discipline.
Real men make tough decisions.

While visiting Afghanistan last July, I met a key provincial governor who every U.S. official told me was the best and most honest in Afghanistan—and then, they added, “We have to fight Karzai every day to keep him from being fired.” That is what happens to those who buck the Karzai system.

This is crazy. We have been way too polite, and too worried about looking like a colonial power, in dealing with Karzai. I would not add a single soldier there before this guy, if he does win the presidency, takes visible steps to clean up his government in ways that would be respected by the Afghan people.

If Karzai says no, then there is only one answer: “You’re on your own, pal. Have a nice life with the Taliban. We can’t and will not put more American blood and treasure behind a government that behaves like a Mafia family. If you don’t think we will leave—watch this.” (Cue the helicopters.)

So, please, spare me the lectures about how important Afghanistan and Pakistan are today. I get the stakes. But we can’t want a more decent Afghanistan than the country’s own president. If we do, we have no real local partner who will be able to hold the allegiance of the people, and we will not succeed—whether with more troops, more drones or more money.

—Thomas Friedman, “Not Good Enough,” The New York Times, Oct. 13, 2009, available at http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/14/opinion/14friedman.html?_r=2 (via digby, “Hey, Pal,” Hullaballoo, Oct. 14, 2009, available at http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2009/10/hey-pal-by-digby-while-i-appreciate.html).

Real men make tough decisions.
Real men don’t care what others think.

JOURNALIST: Mr. President, you made it a practice of not commenting on personnel moves.

W. BUSH: Of course I did.  And you can understand why.  Because we’ve got people’s reputations at stake.  And on Friday I stood up and said I don’t want to appreciate speculation about Donald Rumsfeld.  He’s doing a fine job, I strongly support him.

JOURNALIST: Well, what would you say to critics who believe that you’re ignoring the advice of retired generals, military commanders, who say that there needs to be a change?

W. BUSH: I say I listen to all voices.  But mine’s the final decision.  And Don Rumsfeld is doing a fine job.  He’s not only transforming the military, he’s fighting a war on terror—he’s helpin’ us fight a war on terror.  I have strong confidence in Don Rumsfeld.  I hear the voices.  And I read the front page.  And I know the speculation.  But I’m the decider, and I decide what is best, and what’s best is for Donald Rumsfeld to remain as the Secretary of Defense.

Real men make tough decisions.

Always there is the illusion of the easy path. Always there is the illusion, which gripped Donald Rumsfeld and now grips many Democrats, that you can fight a counterinsurgency war with a light footprint, with cruise missiles, with special forces operations and unmanned drones. Always there is the illusion, deep in the bones of the Pentagon’s Old Guard, that you can fight a force like the Taliban by keeping your troops mostly in bases, and then sending them out in well-armored convoys to kill bad guys.

…

We have tried to fight the Afghan war the easy way, and it hasn’t worked. Switching now to the McChrystal strategy is a difficult choice, and President Obama is right to take his time. But Obama was also right a few months ago when he declared, ‘This will not be quick, nor easy. But we must never forget: This is not a war of choice. This is a war of necessity. … This is fundamental to the defense of our people.’

—David Brooks, “The Afghan Imperative,” New York Times, Sept. 24, 2009 (available at http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/25/opinion/25brooks.html), via Glenn Greenwald, “David Brooks: Our Nation’s Premier Expert Warrior,” Salon, Sept. 25, 2009 (available at http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2009/09/25/brooks/index.html).

Real men make tough decisions.
Real men are aggressive.
Real men are not caring.
Real men are not sensitive.
Real men don’t care what others think.

“Obviously, we are gratified that the Iraq strategy we have long advocated … has become the policy of the U.S. government, because we believe it is the right policy for the country and the world. But we feel no joy and little satisfaction. It would have been much better if Saddam could have been removed without war, or if he had been removed at the end of the previous Gulf War. We wish a peaceful resolution were now possible. But it is not. Wishes are not facts. Saddam has proven—he had proven by December 1997—that he will not disarm peacefully. And he must be disarmed. So war will come.

We are tempted to comment, in these last days before the war, on the U.N., and the French, and the Democrats. But the war itself will clarify who was right and who was wrong about weapons of mass destruction. It will reveal the aspirations of the people of Iraq, and expose the truth about Saddam’s regime. It will produce whatever effects it will produce on neighboring countries and on the broader war on terror. We would note now that even the threat of war against Saddam seems to be encouraging stirrings toward political reform in Iran and Saudi Arabia, and a measure of cooperation in the war against al Qaeda from other governments in the region. It turns out it really is better to be respected and feared than to be thought to share, with exquisite sensitivity, other people’s pain. History and reality are about to weigh in, and we are inclined simply to let them render their verdicts.”

—William Kristol, “The Imminent War,” Weekly Standard, Mar. 17, 2003 (via Anonymous Liberal, “Bill Kristol: Pundit Superstar,” Unclaimed Territory, Jan. 2, 2007, available at http://glenngreenwald.blogspot.com/2007/01/bill-kristol-pundit-superstar.html).

Real men are aggressive.
Real men make tough decisions.

“The characters have been given conspicuously cartoonish, so-called black voices that indicate that minstrelsy remains as much in fashion in Hollywood as when, well, Jar Jar Binks was set loose by George Lucas. For what it’s worth, the script, by Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, also includes a crack about Simmons, who’s coded as Jewish, and his ‘pubic-fro head.’

“You’re not meant to take that seriously, of course, just like there’s nothing to the reference to President Obama being whisked out of danger instead of standing tall like Optimus Prime and the rest of the robotic heroes.”

—Manohla Dargis, “Invasion of the Robot Toys, Redux,” New York Times, June 24, 2009 (available at http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/24/movies/24transform.html).

Real men make tough decisions.

“As lawmakers wrangled last week over how to plug California’s giant deficit, the governor who once called them ‘girlie men’ sent the state Senate leader a package that has some Capitol insiders tsk-tsking over what they see as an ill-timed display of machismo.

“The gag gift from Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, a metal sculpture of bull testicles, came with a note suggesting the lawmaker would need them to make some tough budget choices, said legislative sources who were not authorized to speak publicly.

“An annoyed Senate President Pro Tem Darrell Steinberg (D-Sacramento) returned the sculpture with a sober note on the fortitude needed to protect society’s vulnerable from the budget ax. That prompted a verbal apology from the governor, the sources said.”

—Patrick McGreevy and Eric Bailey, “Lawmaker Returns Joke Gift from Schwarzenegger,” Los Angeles Times, June 18, 2009.

Real men make tough decisions.

“[Peter] Orzsag just called Social Security reform a ‘test of manhood.’”

—Ana Marie Cox, tweeting at June 9th, 11:53 am (via Digby, Scolds and Boogeymen, Hullabaloo, June 14, 2009, available at http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2009/06/scolds-and-boogemen-by-digby-robert.html).